Too Cold

Well for somebody who doesn't have to leave the house, I have twice now this week, and it really sucks. It's was TOO COLD out there, and I just hate it so much. I long for spring, and the many walks I will take with my girls.

Ok so i had a major scare this month. I was late, and scared and stressed, and everything under the sun. I thought many thoughts, and how it was too soon, ect, and how I wanted to play this season of hockey(yes selfish of me..lol). But i was just scared, but atleast Riley said to Me.. "it's ok honey, i love being your husband and having kids with you".. whether or not inside he was thinking something different, made me feel good for the time being. It consumed my mind... I tried to fathom the thought of both Allie and Aubrie being 17 months apart, then Aubrie and this one being 17 months apart.. i was very stressed. And well the good news.. my lovely friend arrived.. YIPEE

Well we had gymnastics today, and it was a wonderful time....kinda. I love seeing the excitment in her eyse as we are there. She does such a good job, makes me so proud. But the leaving part is another story. See this gymnastics place is pretty neat. They have the huge gym part but then after class, there is this fenced in huge play area. With TONS of toys, and a ball room thingy, ect..just many neat things. So how do u tear a kid away from that?? Ya you can bribe her, but Allie knows, and is too smart. So today, after i somehow managed to get her in her snow suit, while holding Aubrie, she started her screaming, crying, and the fun part of where you hold there hands, and they quit standing. So with many mom's and dad's and kids watching... There she layed crying on the floor as I was laughing. Cause I didn't care. Well she wouldn't stand, cause she did not want to go. So i had to do what I had to do, and that was drag her out. I dragger her through the door, outside onto the deck, down the stairs, across the parking lot to my van, with her still crying and still not wanting to stand. So I layed her by the van as i buckled Aubrie in, then picked her up and put her in her seat. How wonderful.... And did I care what anyone thought.. NOPE...

Well tomorrow i officially start my nail course and am I ever excited. I can't wait to finally start, and be able to do nails when ever I want. I'm so looking forward to it. Also this weekend Riley is building me my manicure desk for my hair salon, cause well they only range in price from $150.00 to $1000.00. Ya pretty insane i know... So I can't wait to get mine done, and I know he will do a wonderful job... So yet another day to venture out in this miserable weather. The week I go out the most, is the most awful week ever. Oh well...

-62

Thats what the Temperature was said this morning on CNN for Regina with the windchill. I definitely don't miss leaving the house on days like today. I will be locked in doors, staying warm with my girls all day again, which is fine with me.



Well Allie started peeing on the potty, which was so wonderful for me. She still drinks a ton though, so it's going to be difficult. She still isn't ready to be fully potty trained, but I'm hoping by the summer she is. Guess we will see.



Aubrie is getting tooth # 3 and 4 at the same time right now/ Her top two have poked through slightly, and it looks so painful. Poor girl.. I wish I could help her, but I can. I give her Advil now, never use Tylenol anymore cause Advil lasts up to 8 hours, and I find it easier on her tummy. I don't do it very often though, just when I think she is in sever pain. Otherwise she has to learn to handle it, cause she ain't livin on it. She has been standing up on everything now a days, and is slowly taking small steps along the furniture while she is standing. Becoming more brave everyday. It's so cute how her and Allie play together.. they already play kitchen, and chase one another. Allie laughs so hard she falls to the floor, then Aubrie has the benefit of climbing on her. There going to have many fun days together... I'm so glad I chose to have them this close, cause I do really love it.



She has been doing alot better at night. Both girls r in bed at 8, so it is so nice that Riley and I have our evenings together, or even, I am able to do alot before bed time. And they both usually wake by 7, which I like to, cause Iam a morning person, and then Riley gets to see them before he heads off to work.



Other than that, I'm busy with hair today, tomorrow have another class of gymnastics, so I'm really looking forward to that!! And just hanging in doors till this awful weather gets somewhat warmer.

Winter Is Back

Yikes, what a day is it. I'm so happy I don't have to leave the house on days like today. This storm is crazy out there, and the temp dropped like 10 degrees in an hour. Let me tell you, I love winter, but sure am looking forward to spring. To getting outside and watching the girls run around.

Our weekend was ok.. we went on a date friday night which was nice cause I was having a down day, and that really picked it up. Except in the middle of the night I started getting sick. Hard core stomach pains, the aches all over, never slept at all, and well the other end of it was happening as well. I still have it somewhat today, the stomach pains r still there, but the rest is gone.

We went to Noah my nephew's birthday party on Saturday, then that evening my sister, mom and I went to a movie. We watched "p.s. I LOVE YOU". Well lets just say if you want to cry lots, rent that movie. It was very good, I enjoyed it alot. Sure makes you miss your husband the whole time your watching it, and also makes you really thankful for what you have in your life. So yes I recommend it to all of you, but just remember, you probably will cry. But you will laugh as well.

Sunday I played hockey at The Civic Center in Moosejaw. Ya sick... playing hockey, but honestly, being out there sweating it off, I felt really good. It was when I came off the ice and sat down, where I felt so sick again. But I did really good, I scored two goals, and was pretty proud of myself. I was happy mom and dad were there. I was proud they drove to Moosejaw to watch me play, makes me feel good. They usually do come to every Bethune game, and I really appreciate it. Also I love when Riley watches me play too, I always try and do my best for him, and he always tells me how proud he is of me..

Well this week, no huge plans. I was suppose to be going out tonight with friends to see "27 Dresses", but with this storm, they wont be making it in. Thats ok, cause the girls and I are still in our PJ's. I actually started scrap booking my pregnancy today, when I was pregnant with Aubrie. And I'm waiting on over 400 pics to be developed, so i will have plenty work to do. I'm looking forward to gymnastics on Wednesday, and also a ladies night out on Friday!! Wow February this weekend already. Only a couple more months and soon Spring will be here. Anyways..chow..

Riley

Today I decided to post about my husband. Something I haven't done yet, and I have been blogging for over a year now. I've decided to write about him, cause every day I just wonder where this man came from. Yes we have our off days, everyone does, we tend to fight over stupid things, and sometimes my anger gets the best of me, but something in Riley's head or heart or inside of him, has always told him to love his wife unconditionally. Not a day has gone by since we met, where he hasn't told me I was beautiful. And I'm not joking. Some days he comes home from work, and I'm tired, grumpy, and feel so blah.. especially the days where your(you know what) is visiting so u feel so awful. And he comes in with a big smile, and always says, "wow your look great today", or "did I ever tell you, you are beautiful?"... I always roll my eyes and sluff it off, but the other day I actually sat down and really thought about it. About him, and all he has been through with me. He almost lost me a few years back due to my partying and my wanting to live a single life style, but he fought for me, and never once gave up or stopped loving me. He has held me through the hard times, talked to me when I didn't have a friend to confide in, and loved me know matter what I looked like, or no matter the situation at all. He has told me every day he has loved me more and more, and has told me, if he ever passed from this earth, he knows he loved one woman more than he could ever love another.. He is my husband. The man I chose to marry, and spend the rest of my life with. The man at times I have looked at and wondered how i married him, and yet I know in my heart I could never love another. The man who has given me all his heart can give, and yet I know in my heart, I haven't always done the same. I ache inside knowing the days I lost touch with Riley, the days I pushed him away cause what?? Cause he wasn't good enough?? NO.. it was me, being stubborn, and selfish. I cry everyday knowing how i hurt him so bad, but only live for the rest of our life together. Many days I think to myself "I don't deserve him, he is too good for me." But I do deserve him.. He is the man, the father of my two precious girls. The daddy they run home to when he walks through the door. Aubrie lights up so much when she See's him, it brings tears to his eyes when she does. Riley is my best friend. The only one person who has ever been there for me, stood my me, and loved me more than anybody else on this earth. He is a man with a huge heart, he loves his family and me SO MUCH, that he says his heart swells when he thinks of us. He calls many times in the day to say, "kiss the girls", or "i love you"...

Life is short. Life is too short to fight, and bicker, and be upset with one another. I would kill myself if I ever was in such a bad mood or got in a fight with him, and something happened to him on the way to work. Life is too short for moments where your unhappy. I look forward to every day with him. I look forward to bedtime when we sleep like a pretzel together. Every day I love Riley with all my heart, and i know he has loved me more then anything as well. He is the man I will spend the rest of my life with, and love unconditionally till the day we pass this earth. He is my husband, and I couldn't be more proud to say that everyday!!

Gymnastics

Well today was Allie's first day at gymnastics, and we HAD SO MUCH FUN. She did awesome, and the teacher was shocked it was her first class. She couldn't believe how she jumped on a trampoline so good(needless to say she doesn't know we have one..lol) She was shocked at her summer saults, and balance on the beam... It was so nice to get out, be with other mom's and kids and watch her have so much fun. I will defiantly look forward to every Wednesday morning now..yey And it was so funny to see so many mom's with the same haircut as me.. it was a good laugh..lol

Well this week is slowly going by. Only Wednesday..lol Maybe it's cause Riley has been working in the garage every night, so I have been having my evenings to myself(which trust me i don't mind).

I have a hockey game tomorrow night, and Noah's party on Saturday, and then I play at the civic center in Moose Jaw on Sunday. Other than that, just hanging with my girls... take care!!

Here Iam

Here Iam to those of you who wanted to see my haircut... I love it so much, but I do plan to go more blonde soon, when I find the time. I've posted a side and back shot, cause honestly from the front, u don't even know i got a haircut cause it is still long and goes back behind my ears. I think thats why I like is so much, cause i still have long hair in the front, and nothing to bug me in the back!!

I love it Short

I don't know if I ever will grow my hair long again. I love it being short.. I chopped it off this weekend, the haircut like Posh Spice, and I love it so much. Long hair usually just ends up in a pony tail, or I never have time to deal with it, and with it being short it feels so good, and I don't have to tend to it.. I love it. As for going short, my husband did too, he decided to shave his head once in his life. I still cant believe I walked down stairs and there he was chopping away at his hair, making a complete mess. I think my mouth dropped to the floor for a good five minutes..lol So I ended up shaving it...lol

The weekend was good, i played hockey Saturday and Sunday, scored myself my 4th goal of the season. I've improved so much this year, I think it's cause I feel I'm in my best shape ever. I love playing hockey, I look forward to each game, but there isn't many left.

As for the girls, there doing great, Aubrie is getting better and better at night. Just when I think it's time to move her in with her sis, she has a terrible night..lol Oh well.. hopefully soon enough.

Winter

The season some love, but most dread. Maybe cause it seems everyone is always sick. I hate it, even though this winter doesn't even compare to last winter. Allie was so sick all the time. Croup, flu, and not just once, several times. Us to, I think Riley had the flu 3 times last winter, it was nuts. I have a cold, I hate colds so much. The runny nose, I feel hot, the tickle in your throat, err... I hate it, and now Aubrie too, and she is oh so snotty..lol

So I'm tired of her in our room. I know we disturb her, and i would hate it as well if someone were coming in and out of my room all the time, Riley's alarm goes off at 6:30, so ya, poor girl. She is sleeping through the night, so in the next few weeks, we will be moving her in with her sister. Yey, I'm so excited!!

So by now, i think everyone has received Riley's invite to his surprise party. I'm so excited for it, I can't wait. I got my friend to send me a wedding invite of these made up names, and the wedding is one his birthday, at the place where the party is, so it's going to work perfect. He saw the invite and I was like "uh yah, but it falls on your birthday and i already have plans, so we will just drop by for a few minutes so I can see what she looks like in her dress", he totally is for it. He thinks it's a client of mine..lol And the funny thing is, he will think we are going to this wedding, and we will walk in, and it will be for him..yey..too excited... And let me tell you, man it was hard to invite people cause he has WAY too many friends.. but i narrowed it down, to just under 100 people, and i know not that many will show...but u never know!! So I'm pretty excited. I was also going to book a flight to Vegas the next day, cause friends of ours are flying out, but I would need to get him a passport so that wont work.. Soon enough it will be here though.. yey

Anyways off to do hair while the girls are napping.. CHOW

Iam a Mom

I sit here and I enjoy my morning, alone to myself. Aubrie never made a peek last night, so it was pretty awesome. I got up, made Riley his lunch(something i never do), and break feast, and I sent him on his way. It was nice to have the mornings just to us. Then I was able to have a shower, and get ready under normal conditions. It was nice, felt so great, and now Iam able to sit and blog without someone yanking on my arm.

But yet in the back of my mind, I long for the knock on the bedroom door, or the tiny voice through the monitor letting me know they are up. Aubrie and Allie are my life. The reason I get through every day, the reason I wake everyday. I Cherish my moments with them, and am so thankful I have chosen this journey of becoming a mother. I already long for the next little one, cause I know in my heart our family isn't complete. They always say u just know when it is, and well Riley and i know it's not. There's plenty room yet!

I was out the other day, and I always get attention when I head out cause of the two girls in the stroller. I come across elder people it seems and they always r stopping me, pointing fingers, and pinching there little cheeks. Yet this one elder man, tells me there so adorable, and beautiful, and yet asks "what do u do for a living??" Like who asks that..lol I say "I'm just a mom", and he totally shifted and turned away. That moment ponders in my head, leaving me to think "Is that not good enough?", "did I say something wrong?"... I thought about how "just a mom", is many jobs, and it's a more task ful job then heading to work 9-5 and coming home like your day is done. A mothers job is never done. I felt like ragging inside and yelling my thoughts to him, first by telling him, who does he think he is. It was heartbreaking, and very hurtful, and I still will think that thought many times over I'm sure.

In my heart, do i regret the job Iam doing everyday? No not at all. I could easily send my kid's off to daycare, and work out there in the world, but I choose to be at home with my kids, and because of that choice, Iam nobody. Well to my kids Iam somebody. And someday they will thank me for being able to raise them, instead of some other person. I love my job, and yes it is a job. I love waking everyday to there voices, and playing endlessly with them, and showing them new things, or teaching them new things. It's amazing in my eyes. So when someone asks next time what i do for a living, I will make sure to shout it loud and proud, that, "IAM A MOM". And I will be a mom, till the day I leave this earth. I intend to be there for them as much as possible, and not get a job in the world for a long time. I love being home, many people ask, "how can u do it", "it's so boring talking to little ones, not adults". But to me, it's never boring, every day is a new day, and thats what I love. I love being a mom...

Saturday

I don't know if I ever blogged on a Saturday before, but today I am. I usually don't have my computer on, on the weekend, but now i do, probably cause I got a new one, and it's much faster, and nicer, and many things to do on it.

This week was good. Went by fast, but it was good. I've decided I'm going back to school, and I'm really looking forward to it. Not sure the exact date I start, but I'm really looking forward to taking the nail course. I was taught in school , but not to the finest degree u can get taught, so now I'm doing it. I'm pretty excited, maybe just more excited to get my kit..lol

This weekend we don't have much planned. Riley is sick with a cold again, I'm trying to stay away from him, and every time he sneezes, I'm right behind him wiping up the floor, cause of all the germs, and well Aubrie is crawling everywhere. And he doesn't seem to cover his mouth.

Speaking of Aubrie, my goodness, she is an explorer. Allie use to leave the room once in a while, but Aubrie, wont stay in the living room. Today she was choking so bad on one of Allie's elastics, it was very scary. I had to stick my finger down her throat, which brought all of her break feast up(yuck), but the elastic as well. I was freaking out. She is into everything, she slides her hand under things, like the stove where there are crumbs..lol.. she just wants everything, it's frustrating but cute at the same time.

These past few days have been hat days, and dress up days. Allie always wants to wear her Halloween costumes again, so she spent yesterday as a duck9or chicken) whatever she was not this past Halloween but the one before... Also she is into wearing hats all the time. Even Aubrie is to. I will post pics of there hats..

Anyways, off to play hockey tomorrow night, other than that, just enjoy another Saturday at home!!

Growing Up

Where does the time go. I'm sure everyone can relate, and look back upon there kids lives and wonder, how did they grow up so fast? Aubrie is soon to be 8 months old, and the time is sure flying by. I remember last year saying how much I was going to look forward to this year, being outside with the girls, our many strollers rides, and them both running around playing together. Well it's crazy to think, that soon enough that time will be here. Soon she will be one. Well she officially pulls herself to stand now. It's crazy, one day she pulled herself up to her knees, and the next, she was standing at things. She is determined, but also afraid, and not sure yet what to do when she is standing, so needless to say, we have had many falls, and bonks on the head!!!

Well this week is already half over. The funeral was yesterday and it was really good. Nice to see the family, and visit, and just be together and reminisce about Grandpa. Allie was at my friends all day as well, did a wonderful job, and didn't even want to come home. I'm glad she enjoyed herself, but lets just say I sure was missing her by the time we started to head home.

Here are some pics of our family, and of the funeral...

Death

Over the past few days, i really have thought about death lately. I almost begin to hate the thought of thinking about it, cause it makes me angry and sad. I thought about my own life, and how now Iam a mother and I have two children that look up to me, and if something were to happen to me. I think about Riley and wonder if he were to die tomorrow, would i regret not giving him all the love I had. I asked Riley if i were to die tomorrow if he would ever feel that way, but he said he loves me so much everyday, and would feel he did love me alot. I hate death, I hate when someone dies, and I hate funeral's. Tomorrow is the funeral, and all I know is I still can't believe it. I still think we are going to Yorkton to see everyone, including Grandpa. But he wont be there, we will be grieving his loss, and remembering him. I lay in bed at night thinking about him, and Nanny, when they lived in Dilke, or when I would go spend many summers in Theodore with them before Nanny got ill, and now he's gone. I think of you everyday Grandpa!

Well my precious Aubrie finally has her routine down, and is sleeping through the night. I tried many things, and finally got her turned around, and she is sleeping anywhere from 10-12 hours. It's great, you forget how much u needed sleep, and enjoy sleep...lol I actually go to bed now to go to sleep, not wait for her to wake. She is growing fast, crawling everywhere, and already pulling herself up to her knees on things. She is changing everyday, and soon enough the two girls will be running together and having a good ol time....(well I hope)

Lately Allie has been having her moments with her. She will love her sister, hug her kiss her, miss her, then the next minute she is pushing her, kicking her, poking her eyes...hitting her. It's been frustrating, but it's because Aubrie goes where we go now, and is in to everything, and everything before was just Allie's where as now, it's both, and she has to share. So yes we do have our moments throughout the day..but the many time-outs, and discipline, wont be brushed aside until she learns to not hurt her sister. But on the other hand, she does loves her alot.

As for me, I've been ok, good, sad..thinking is this a start to a bad year, or just something that happened? Cause I really hope nothing more comes like this, this year!! Thanks to everyone for your support and love, and for thinking of me at this time. It really does mean alot, with just your words, or a short email to me. Thank you!!!

Bye Bye Grandpa Minchuk

My grandpa died. I received the phone call last night i never though I would, with the news of his death. i hit the floor, and sobbed in pain..really trying to believe the words that were just said to me. Mom had been trying to call him for many days now. he lives in Theodore, my nanny is in a nursing home there, and he lives alone in the trailer. She couldn't seem to get a hold of him, so she asked the 20 year old neighbour to go take a peek on him, cause sometimes he has phone troubles. Not this time. He opened the porch door and before he could step in, he was there lying on the floor. he called mom back, vibrating by what he say...poor guy.. how terrible for him.

We drove out to Dilke to b with mom cause dad said she was a wreck. she was just at grandpa's on the weekend for her monthly visit. My two brothers ended up coming as well, so it was really nice to have us four children together and be there for her. We talked for hours, reminisced about him, and how wonderful he was. We all I believe are still in disbelief and cannot really fathom that he is gone.

The first night in...well months... Aubrie sleeps through the night. I finally have her turned around, and she sleeps awesome now. And here Iam, getting home at 1:30 in the morning, and thinking, envisioning grandpa, wondering what happened, and so on. I wake at 6:30 with pain, agony in my stomach cause I try and tell myself that last night was a dream, but i know in my head and heart it was real. I get out of bed, house is quiet, and I am mad. Mad about death. i don't understand, and I don't think I ever will. i don't know why people have to die, why can't we all live to be 1000. I thought about the day i have to face when my own parents pass on, and I really don't know how I will ever make it through that.

I think of my grandpa, and am proud of the life he lived. he loved his wife unconditionally, even if the last how ever many years she didn't know who he was. He had a great sense of humor, always wanted to chat, and loved telling stories for hours on end about when he was younger. He was a good man, and I now know he is in a better place, and is running around cause that is something he could never do.

I love you grandpa.

Starting Fresh

So alot of people were wondering where my Blog went. Well I had decided to stop for many reason, even though I love writing... But i just some how one day, said i was done. Well here Iam back at it, and wondering am I doing the right thing??lol I found i either didn't have the time, or it was like a diary I was writing that everyone was reading. I love to write, it's almost like it cleared my head and I'd start all over. So here I am back at it... and well I will stick with it this time. I saved all my old postings in my email so I can go back on it someday and read it, but as for now..I'm starting fresh with this one...

So Christmas was good, and fast. Went to mom and dad's, it was nice to see evryone together since that doesn't happen much anymore. It's nice to have all the kids play together, be loud and just visit with my brother's and sister's. It went by fast but it was alot of fun as always, and again, mom cooked a wonderful meal. We then headed to Quill Lake on the 24th, and stayed there till Wednesday. It was good to see everyone once again, except Terri and the kids couldn't make it, so it was sad not seeing them.. But everyone else was there. We got many gifts, girls got spoiled, but it was great!!!

Now we r starting another new year. A year I know that is going to be great!! I have many things in my head that are going to happen this year, and am excited about many of them.

As for life..life has been really good lately... My girls r my life, there my pride and joy and the reason I wake everyday..don't get me wrong Riley is too..lol I love being a mom. I love watching them grow, learn new things, play together. I just have tons of fun with them. With the basement the way it is now, we play downstairs lots. I push them in the car together, we play kitchen everyday and always cook eggs..(thanks sis)... We just have alot of fun. I love being able to be at home with them everyday. I wouldn't change it for the world.

Hockey it back now, and I'm looking forward to the exercise again. Seems it's been forever since we played, and well u know what the holidays do to a person..so any kind of fitness feels great right now... I've also been going back to the gym, December i found was so busy and I didn't make it there much, but now I'm back at things.

Well as this heading says..Starting Fresh.. Take that into consideration..look at your life, and Start Fresh if you have to.. learn to love your life, yourself...give every moment for your kids, and always love your partner unconditionally.. Make this year, a great YEAR!!!! CHOW