Chaos

Its been a great week it truly has.  This blog isn't about me complaining its just about my life :)

I can honestly say I sat down about 12 times to write this, and its taken that long because Iam always interrupted.  I also can honestly say I just had my first 2 minute shower this week, ya eww gross hey.  Scrub as fast as you can cause I can hear her waking up ahhh.  I swear my brain is frazzled and foggy and forgetful.  SO if I forget to send u a text or reply or this or that its because my life is usually complete chaos.  I think having 3 kids in three years was easier than this huge gap and going back to it all.  Trust me I love Brynlee to death, I look at her everyday and my heart melts all over again.  She's prefect, wonderful, more than I could've asked for, its just been crazy busy.

All week Riley has said "don't do laundry cause we are almost out of water."  So you can imagine the pile I have down my hall way and in my laundry room.  Im starting to get claustrophobic cause its building so high.  I think he's forgotten yet I remind him every night, except he's having a crazy week himself, with work and building race tracks for an event this weekend, so his brain is just as foggy, so I cant blame him.  I can drive the water truck, but only have done it once, and don't want to wreck it.

Ive been searching for my nursing bras all week and Im sure there at the bottom of the pile of dirty clothes.  Oh how I wish I could find them...and my room, it stinks, and I finally found a pee diaper under my bed.  Yuck!!

And the kids, they start there day crazy.  Its usually me shouting "do this do that, put socks on, brush your teeth, fill your water bottle, boedy get dressed, quit playing with your toys you gotta catch the bus, eat hurry, jackets shoes, lets go hurry hurry, lets do your hair girls, lunch's grab them, you all have your books, hurry bus is coming".. out the door.. Then they come home with so much to say and tell and homework, and chaos and more chaos.  I try and keep up with them all and feel bad if one feels left out and walks away or to there room.  I feel like there is not enough of me to go around.  Im tired to, my job is not ending ever, and I don't know if any of them realize that... uggh!!

I barely eat during the day cause I don't feel I have time to sit down and eat, its usually shoving something in as Im walking by.  Id love to sit for supper but most suppers are chaos, Riley barely is home for them, and usually someone doesn't want to eat so I spend time MAKING them eat, by then my supper is cold, blah!!  I like warm food(don't we all) !!

And Zumba, Ive been preparing Zumba for the kids every Friday at the church, and oh how excited Iam but u think I can squeeze another thing into my life.  So between all of that Ive been dancing up a storm.  Brynlee fell asleep this morning to a song, it was cute..sitting in her bumboo chair..head hanging low.  Her napping has been 20 minutes through the day, and my, you sure don't get much done.  I think I spent 20 minutes one day killing flies.  As I write this one is landing on my head..stupid flies!!!

AND by bed time, like 11, Iam exhausted.  I never use to hit the bed and be out in 30 seconds.  Well Iam these days. Gotta run...

Beer and Cigarettes

Its been a long week.  I feel like life isn't slowing down, only getting busier every day.  I don't know where the time goes any more, probably cause when you have kids it just flies by.  This week has been building and I have been crumbling daily.  I'm sure most people think when I ship my three kids on the bus life is a breeze, I have one baby, how hard can that be.  Well between short naps, and 2-3 hour feedings the day just flies by.  I don't seem to get much done.   And when 4:00 strikes the house is chaos.  Well this past week its been building.  Between fighting, kids talking back, kids crying, laundry piling up higher each day, the kitchen a disaster, every corner things piling up, I was trying hard to keep my cool.  Lets just say I was ready to drink the entire bottle of peace and calming, for anyone who knows about essential oils.

Today after school was my final straw.  Kids came home as they always do, running into the house all with a ton to say, and if you interrupt Aubrie well look out cause she hates that, so the tears start coming from her.  Then Boedy tells me something that obviously Aubrie wanted to so she scratches him and he's crying now.   Brynlee starts crying cause she's hungry and Allie is singing opera constantly.  This continues for the next hour.  I feed Brynlee, but the fighting does not stop.  The opera singing continues and its starting to send me for loop.  Boedy see's supper and right away is upset and starts to complain cause its disgusting (chicken broccoli rice)  the girls want to say eww but they see the look on my face.  Time passes more Boedy is now crying at the table cause he doesn't want to eat supper but yet wants ice cream, Allie is still singing opera downstairs, I send Boedy down to his room cause I cant take the crying, he goes down, something happens Aubrie scratches him again, he's crying more, Allie snaps at me, and Brynlee now crying cause she's so tired and wants to nap.  I text Riley and couldnt get ahold of him, I said "please bring me beer and cigarettes"!!!!  I put Brynlee in her room, grab the monitor and left.  I broke down crying.  Asking "y?? y cant I handle this, why does it feel like there all against me and I'm alone?? WHY? WHY??"  I walk half way down our driveway and I see Riley coming in a distance.  He meets me, still hasn't received my text I sent, he sees me crying and knows something is up.  He gets out of the car, hands me a card he bought me about how proud he is of me and being a mom is so hard and he's so thankful for me each day.  He then hands me M&M's and Chips... seriously he read my mind I will tell ya!!!  That's my beer and cigarettes.