Beer and Cigarettes

Its been a long week.  I feel like life isn't slowing down, only getting busier every day.  I don't know where the time goes any more, probably cause when you have kids it just flies by.  This week has been building and I have been crumbling daily.  I'm sure most people think when I ship my three kids on the bus life is a breeze, I have one baby, how hard can that be.  Well between short naps, and 2-3 hour feedings the day just flies by.  I don't seem to get much done.   And when 4:00 strikes the house is chaos.  Well this past week its been building.  Between fighting, kids talking back, kids crying, laundry piling up higher each day, the kitchen a disaster, every corner things piling up, I was trying hard to keep my cool.  Lets just say I was ready to drink the entire bottle of peace and calming, for anyone who knows about essential oils.

Today after school was my final straw.  Kids came home as they always do, running into the house all with a ton to say, and if you interrupt Aubrie well look out cause she hates that, so the tears start coming from her.  Then Boedy tells me something that obviously Aubrie wanted to so she scratches him and he's crying now.   Brynlee starts crying cause she's hungry and Allie is singing opera constantly.  This continues for the next hour.  I feed Brynlee, but the fighting does not stop.  The opera singing continues and its starting to send me for loop.  Boedy see's supper and right away is upset and starts to complain cause its disgusting (chicken broccoli rice)  the girls want to say eww but they see the look on my face.  Time passes more Boedy is now crying at the table cause he doesn't want to eat supper but yet wants ice cream, Allie is still singing opera downstairs, I send Boedy down to his room cause I cant take the crying, he goes down, something happens Aubrie scratches him again, he's crying more, Allie snaps at me, and Brynlee now crying cause she's so tired and wants to nap.  I text Riley and couldnt get ahold of him, I said "please bring me beer and cigarettes"!!!!  I put Brynlee in her room, grab the monitor and left.  I broke down crying.  Asking "y?? y cant I handle this, why does it feel like there all against me and I'm alone?? WHY? WHY??"  I walk half way down our driveway and I see Riley coming in a distance.  He meets me, still hasn't received my text I sent, he sees me crying and knows something is up.  He gets out of the car, hands me a card he bought me about how proud he is of me and being a mom is so hard and he's so thankful for me each day.  He then hands me M&M's and Chips... seriously he read my mind I will tell ya!!!  That's my beer and cigarettes.