It's Been A While

Last night I went to my room after 10 and looked at the crib we just set up. We lost pieces to our other one, so had to go purchase another one. What timing, but thankfully we found one, and it's set up and looks beautiful. The girls helped us, and had a blast setting it up. Allie is so excited for the baby to come, every day she asks if today is the day.

I starred at the crib lastnight, and just burst into tears. Sobbing extremely loud and could barely catah my breath. I cried cause Iam soon to be having baby number 3, and Iam scared. I cried cause I can't believe Allie will be 3 in December, and it just seems like yesterday we were setting up the crib for her. I cried cause I somedays just want her to be my little baby, and now soon I will have 3. I cried cause life just passes by and there is no slowing it down. I cried for all the times this past year I have been to tired to play with the girls cause of this other baby taking over my body and I felt guilty. I cried cause I didn't know if I wanted this in life, and now look where Iam.

Riley came in a while later and wondered what was going on. I told him some stuff, and we cried together. He said he knows how I feel, and how Allie and Aubrie are so precious to us and how we both are scared about having three children under the age of 3. We cried cause our girls mean the world to us, and there's nothing in this life we would have ever done differently.

It's been a while, but it was needed. Iam excited to meet this little one and have the girls help out and love there new little baby sibling. Iam excited to be able to move easier and sleep better, and not be so drained of energy. I love my girls so much, and I know I will love this one just the same, but Iam just scared. Life with two little ones is hard, and knowing Iam adding a third little one in a months time, is crazy to think.