Emotional

Well i can say this pregnancy has really taken a toll on me so far. From day one I think my spirits were lifted, I'm sad, depressed, and cry everyday!! It's crazy, but I don't understand what is going on anymore. I've been hiding my emotions from everybody, until now!! This week wasn't a good one, and I know this probably isn't the place to say, but sometimes blogging releases things from me..

Riley and i fought every night this week, and me, my temper has lost all control lately. I can't seem to take life at this point and was willing to end things a few times if I was brave enough. This city has been really getting to me, and this house, and the space, and just life in general. I'm tired of doing hair. I've never had a break. 2 weeks after Allie was born, I was working, 2 weeks after Aubrie was born, I was working.. the girls get upset when I work cause it's no attention to them. Aubrie is really a mommy girls, so it's hard trying to concentrate on hair and having a crying baby wanting mommy. Iam trying to being a mom, and have a business at the same time, and it's too hard. I'm letting ALOT go.. I've really had enough. I want to pack it all in, and just let it go.

Allie has been nutty this week, just going wild it seems, not listening, making TONS of noise when Aubrie is sleeping cause she knows... Aubrie wants mommy, and thats it, and I want to crawl in a hole and DIE....

I had a huge fight with Riley tonight, cause I just never get time for me. All my friends go out, and have fun, and go here and there, but me, I go EVERYWHERE with my girls. I never have me time. I loved going to the gym, and it's been months since i have gone, cause I can never just go with me, I have to take them along, and worry about how there doing in the daycare. I've never had more than a few hours to myself since they have been born. I'm couped up in the house, and I'm sick of my house. I feel like the walls are closing in on me. I would love to drink, and before I got pregnant I was damn close to it, but was thankful I didn't, and now can't and wont. I've been stressed more than I knew u could be stressed, and it is beginning to scare me. I'm thinking of.. well I'm just not sure what I'm thinking anymore.

I just needed to vent, don't worry bout me, u know yourself how this comes and goes, and it's life things..blah blah blah... I just feel like a walking time bomb lately, waiting to explode. but I'll be ok!!