Grateful

"You are the worst meanest mom ever" Boedy yelled as he ran to his bedroom.  Not the words I exactly wanted to hear to start my day.  Barely awake trying to get things rolling and here is Boedy in the kitchen trying to open my 12 pack of batteries I just purchased, to fill his remote control car and the remote.  12 whole batteries the thing takes, and you think I wanted to spare my freshly bought 12 pack for his remote control car only for him to leave it on and the batteries die??? NO!!!!  So I said "no sorry you arnt getting these batteries", and he tried and tried, till he finally got mad and ran to his room yelling those words at me.  I looked over at Allie, and thought "gee look what you taught him", and she knew exactly what I was thinking.  I don't think ever in my life did I say those words to my mother.  Im sure I may have thought them once or twice, but they didnt come out of my mouth.  I was sad, no mom wants to hear that, and yes I admit ive heard it more than once.  I spoke to Boedy and the girls that they are never to say those words to me again.  I was hurt.

The day continued to be a fail if you could say the least.  I kept telling myself to keep trucking and not let it win me into a bad day.  I had no ambition or hope to do anything in the house even though a million things needed to be done.  I like to be clean and tidy most of the time.  But my house may not always look that way.  Doesn't take much for it to look like a complete disaster actually.  Dishes are never ending.  Laundry is always on the go.  And toys every where.  I haven't washed my walls in well... are you kidding me you wash your walls??? I try and do the main areas where the kids are always touching.  I admit my floors only get washed maybe once a week.  The bathroom always has toothpaste somewhere on the counters, usually gobs due to Boedy squeezing half the tube out.  My laundry room was a complete disaster due to the girls trying several outfits on in the am and mixing the clean with the dirty.  Every where I turned needed to be cleaned.  And today, it wasn't going to happen.  Maybe due to the fact that Brynlee was up several times in the night and I was one tired mama!!

I went to the car wash in town to kill time before my mommy's group and well things didn't look up.  The van washed up good, bubbles and all, but no water to rinse the bubbles off. So I left with a very soapy van to mommy's group.

During mommy's group I enjoy listening to most of the first time mom's.  I know I was in there shoes once.  No I don't think Im no super mom here and definitely don't have it all figured out.  I like how they say "i read in this book this, and this book that", makes me laugh thinking how a book is helping them figure there babies out.  I admit it is most of the time a guessing game.  Then I listened to them all talk about there hot holidays there planning this winter, how excited they were to get away from there babies.  I was oddly confused at how one child can make you need a hot holiday so bad.  I held Brynlee and couldn't imagine leaving her behind to go soak up some hot heat that makes me feel yucky most of the time any ways.  I admit yes I would love a holiday myself.  Id love a holiday with my kids though and my husband.  I love watching the excitement in there eyes when we make a simple trip to Regina (yes we don't get out much)!!

I came home to yes a messy house... but I didn't let it bring me down.  This is my job.  My job as a wife and stay at home mom.  I chose this cause I wanted this.  Riley works hard everyday at his job, and most evenings as well, and I had my own duties and tasks to complete.  I was GRATEFUL in that moment for the mess of my house.  Yes believe it or not!!